The Stumbling..

It was a Monday evening in Bangalore.
Sitting in the corridor of the third floor of my office building, I was reading the day's news paper.
After turning the pages for five minutes, I realized that it is done..
There was nothing more to read..
The sports page news is changing everyday, Other than that it is pretty much the same story everyday.
Some body gets killed in an accident.. Somebody gets robbed.. Somebody gets killed...
Some one is protesting against something..
Sensex falls ..
Sensex raises..
Some body is selling something.. some body is buying something..
Indian railways advertises for one more tender.. and so on and on and on..

I threw the news paper on the table and leaned backwards on to the sofa and closed my eyes..

After five minutes i got up from there... but i was not sure what to do next..
There was so much work to complete, yet I didn't feel like going to my seat. There was so much pain inside. The pain was just making me numb and frozen.
I was hungry and wanted to do something.. So i decided go to the first floor pantry.
I had to take the stairs for that.

The stairs in the building was a very strange place in the building..
As i entered the stairs i felt like floating in a rigid, closed yet an oblivious place.
There were glass windows with stains and dirt..
There were stair handles with scratched paints..
There were Steps with dried up paint drops...
And there were a few security cameras ..
There was a gang of men climbing up.
Behind them was a girl in pink dress and a low neck line.

I came out of the stairs .
" O shit.. ". I had walked down till the ground floor instead of the first.
" Well thats ok, let me take a juice". I said to myself as there was a place in the ground floor which gives you juices and shakes.
As I walked out of the building .. the sun was setting down leaving a cold, dull orange lighting behind and there were ,
people walking back home..
people taking an evening walk..
people taking a little smoke..

Walking thru the cold air which is static and where none of the leaves moved creating an effect walking through a still photograph of the place, I started thinking about his loneliness..
I was surrounded by so many people yet i was alone.
I was laughing merrily all the time yet i was not happy.
Just then, I tried to remember the last time I was never sad for the whole day..
"mm. well.. that could be more than three years ago.. hhmm..", i said to my self with a dry laugh.

With the dry smile and head down i entered the cafeteria..
i dared not to see the face of any body..
I dared not to see any people he knew..
And there sat in a corner were the two girls I knew..
I dared not to speak with them.
So i planned to go straight. but at the last moment i uttered a "hai" to them and without waiting for a reply i went straight to the counter..

I took an orange juice and walked out of the place.
The juicy was strong and sour.. It leaves the sourness in your tongue for a long time..
I did like a bit of it , yet i drank it.. sip by sip walking back to my building.

As i went closer, i again felt like not going back.. So i decided to sit in the platform under the palm tree in front of the building.
So i walked towards the palm tree..and then as i went closer .. at one point,
I stumbled and i had almost fell down. I had stumbled on the raised ground which was a few steps in front of the tree..
I managed not to fall down.. I stood up and then I sat under the tree gasping , trembling and with a little anger.
I started sweating and my hands were still shaking a bit..
It had been the third or fourth time, i had stumbled in the whole week.
It made me feel instable, confused and unsettled.
With the shaky hands and big breaths , i continued to sip my juice sip by sip..
It was strong and sour.